Grief Is Love With Nowhere To Go

Attributed to author and poet Jamie Anderson, “Grief is love with nowhere to go” is a quote that beautifully captures the essence of grief. A natural and profound expression of love. When we lose someone or something we care about deeply, the love we have for them remains, but it can no longer be directed towards its intended recipient. Instead, it becomes a feeling that we carry within us, and one that we must learn to navigate and express in new ways. The quote reminds us that grief is a natural and necessary part of the human experience, and that it arises from a place of deep love and connection.

Life Cycles

Grief is a natural and unavoidable part of the human experience. We will all encounter it at some point in our lives, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a pet, a job, or even a dream. It’s a heavy emotion that can feel overwhelming, suffocating, and sometimes even paralyzing. But have you ever thought of grief as love with nowhere to go? The thing is, we serve ourselves best when we acknowledge that even our pain is an integral part of our life story. I don’t say this to try and glaze over your heartbreak. I know intimately how a broken heart feels. But when you’re ready, I invite you to try something a little different. From the hollow part of your chest, from the root of the root of your sorrow, reach in and relish the sources of your great suffering. Take the time it takes to re-examine with an open heart what was once a source of great joy, and allow it to be that again.

“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.” – John Green

We Each Experience It Differently

I believe that we don’t really overcome the trauma of grief and loss. We evolve from it. In the best cases, we integrate it. That may be the last thing you want to hear, but stick with me for a second. These things don’t define you, but they profoundly affect and impact you deeply. And that’s perfectly okay. They are part of a story that has woven you into who you are today. I have spent so much time researching, analyzing, and integrating grief into my professional work. I’ve spent even more time unpacking how it’s affected me personally. Tough times are universal. While we each experience great pain and deep grief in various ways, the whole world knows similar experiences. Unfortunately, most people never want to talk about it. So the grief journey often feels like we float through different rooms of existence and avoid the difficult conversations that we actually need to express, integrate and heal. Though it may seem a little bit odd to you, one of the most deeply purpose-driven goals in this life is to change that. I intend to comfort you through your forest of sorrow in all the ways I can.

“Grief is like the ocean; it never stops. It ebbs and flows, and the intensity of the pain goes up and down, but the undercurrent of love never fades away.” – Thomas Campbell

Matters of The Heart

First, accept that your grief is not a mark of weakness. When we love someone or something deeply, our heart chakra is wide open, and we can freely express our love through actions and words. It is a state of bliss that radiates from the peak of moments when we took the risk of loving widely and struck gold. But when that source of bliss is no longer with us, that love doesn’t just disappear. The specific location, embodiment, and form of that love changes. It’s still there, but now it has nowhere to go. Or at least nowhere to go that feels quite the same. This is the space where grief comes in and potentially overwhelms us. So what do we do with our love when the best thing, that original thing, is no longer present to receive it?

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” – Paulo Coelho

Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows

Grief is the expression of that original love but in a different form. It’s a powerful force that can make us feel vulnerable, raw, and exposed. It’s the energy of our heart chakra searching for a new outlet. The pain of grief is the manifestation of our love, and it’s a reminder of how deeply we care about the person or thing we lost. So often, we are encouraged to exert that unspent love on someone or something completely different. But it doesn’t really work that way because we already have a lot of people to love and plenty of room in our hearts to do so.

What happens when we don’t acknowledge our grief?

When we try to push it away, ignore it, or numb ourselves to it, that unexpressed love turns a beautiful thing into a traumatic wound. That’s when the energy of our heart chakra gets stuck. It’s like a dam blocking the flow of a river, and if we don’t release that dam, the energy will continue to build up until it overwhelms us.

The key to working with our grief is to witness, acknowledge, and give it space to express itself. This means allowing ourselves to feel the pain, cry, scream, write, or do whatever it takes to release the energy. It also means being gentle with ourselves. Know that grief is a process, and there’s no right or wrong way to experience it.

Embracing our Journey With Open Arms

If I could take all the world’s grief away, I might. But without knowing the profound pain of loss, how would we ever see the depth, fragility, and importance of love? We allow our heart chakra to keep flowing when we witness our grief. We’re not blocking the energy but instead allowing it to move through us. This is how we can transform suffering from a heavy burden to a powerful force of love. So, the next time you find yourself grieving, remember that it’s not a weakness but a testament to the depth of your love. Witness it, acknowledge it, and allow it to transform you. Let your heart chakra keep flowing, and know that love never truly dies; it just takes on a new form. Speak the names of every great love you’ve had the pleasure of knowing. Witness how every dream lost along your way has delivered you here and become a part of you. Honor every single grief-driven deepest secret nobody around you seems comfortable hearing.

What We Americans Can Learn From How Other Cultures Grieve

Grief is a universal experience, yet different cultures have unique ways of expressing and coping with it. In America, we often shy away from grief. We see it as a private matter that should be dealt with behind closed doors. But in other cultures, grief is openly acknowledged and even celebrated as a necessary part of the healing process.

In Mexico, for example, the Day of the Dead is a vibrant celebration where people honor and remember their loved ones who have passed away. Families prepare elaborate altars with offerings of food, drink, and marigold flowers, creating a space for their loved ones to return and be with them once again.
In Japan, the Bon Festival is a time when families come together to honor the spirits of their ancestors. They clean their family gravesites, offer food and drink to the departed, and light lanterns to guide the spirits back to the world of the living.
What can we learn from these and other cultures regarding grieving? We learn to be more open and accepting of grief. Rather than shying away or trying to ignore it, we can acknowledge it as a natural and necessary part of life. We also learn to celebrate the lives of those we have lost rather than focusing solely on their death.

The Importance of Community

In many cultures, grieving is a communal experience. Family and friends come together to support each other, share stories, and offer comfort. This sense of community can help ease the pain of grief and provide a sense of belonging and connection. Finally, we learn the importance of ritual. Rituals can provide structure and meaning to the grieving process, helping us to navigate the often overwhelming emotions that come with loss. Whether lighting a candle, creating an altar, or simply sharing a meal with loved ones, rituals can help us feel grounded and connected during a difficult time.

As Americans, we have much to learn from other cultures when it comes to grieving. By embracing a more open and communal approach to grief, we can better support each other during times of loss and honor the lives of those we have loved and lost.

5 Tips for Grieving Enthusiastically

“Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.” – Sarah Dessen

Acknowledge your grief
- Find a safe place. Don’t try to push it away or ignore it. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and express them openly.
Talk about your feelings
- Identify your safe people. Please share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist. Talking about your grief can help you process it and feel less alone.
Attend a support group
- Seek out your peers. Joining a support group for people who are also grieving can provide a sense of community and help you feel understood.
Create a ritual
- Rituals can help provide structure and meaning to the grieving process. Consider lighting a candle, creating an altar, or planting a tree in memory of your loved one.
Be kind to yourself
- Grieving is a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and practice self-care by getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Allow Grief To Be Good

I don’t like grief or loss any more than the next person, but I’ve spent decades accepting that it is an unavoidable part of life. If you’ve known me long enough, you know that grief and loss are integral to my story. They’ve changed the route of my life journey many times. And yet, I am in a better place on my journey because of it. Enough time has passed between the last source of profound grief and me, that I have finally created some space to tune in to the collective grief of the people in my sphere. Grief isn’t an optional part of living, but I believe that the energetic experience it offers us is beautiful. We decide how to re-orient ourselves with the world when significant threads of our reality change form.

While it may be challenging to maintain enthusiasm for every experience we encounter, it is crucial to recognize the value in all of them, including the ones we have become most attached to. Embracing grief is essential to this recognition, as it allows us to fully acknowledge what has occurred and our emotional response to it. Doing so opens us up to a deeper connection with the world around us, which can ultimately support our personal growth and evolution. Therefore, it is essential to approach each experience with an open mind and heart, ready to learn and grow from even the most difficult situations.

Take Heart

“I am never alone wherever I am. The air itself supplies me with a century of love. When I breathe in, I am breathing in the laughter, tears, victories, passions, thoughts, memories, existence, joys, moments, and the hues of the sunlight on many tones of skin; I am breathing in the same air that was exhaled by many before me. The air that bore them life. And so how can I ever say that I am alone?” – C. JoyBell C.

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