You think you’re a social butterfly, but how do you connect? There are so many tools for human contact, but contact isn’t the connection. If you want to truly connect, play with these three basic essentials to get you started. It is our ongoing relationships with other human beings that shape, foster and prepare us to thrive. Without the joy of connection, human beings prune up and wither away. We are a part of the living relationship of life. We’re bonded to other people for a reason. For a moment, consider: How do I connect with life, love, and being? Are you present or scattered? Do you speak what’s on your mind, or say what others want to hear? Is the real you shining through and making contact? Does physically being present automatically means that you’re there?
3 Tools for Connection
Honest conversations pave the way for greater open-mindedness and expanded understanding. The connections between people are one of the most undervalued themes of our time. It’s high time that we bring our focus back to the sacred value of our most meaningful relationships. While it’s easy to believe that technology keeps us ‘connected,’ that is an illusion. We ARE in near constant contact with one another much of the time, but are we connected? The raw beauty of human connection is often lost to the periphery. How do you connect on a deep level? Being ‘in contact’ is not the same thing as being connected and actively in connection.
Embrace The Fabric of Your Humanity
Again, I don’t mean social media. No matter how much you love it; it doesn’t count. Connection is an extension of the vibrations of love that palpate between us. “Us” is comprised of two or more people existing within an unbroken narrative of their separate identities, committed to engaging in an honest exchange of communication. A connection is not a fly by the seat of your pants text as you’re talking to another group of people 10,000 miles away. It doesn’t mean a quick like or comments on a Facebook post while writing out a grocery list. The connection is the art of being present.
1. Clear Space
The mind is a minefield steadily running amuck and in many directions. Connection requires both mental and physical space to facilitate it. To have synergy in relationships, you have to provide the full, clear mental space and capacity to tap into it. That said, the physical environment plays a part in connection too. Settings influence the subtle energies of everyone present and impact the overall quality of the intended interaction. Before you connect with someone, make sure that both your internal and external worlds are in some kind of peaceful order. We’re not talking perfection here, but rather a state of harmony which allows you to relax and open up.
2. Open Up
If you aren’t ready, willing, or capable of being open; communication is shut down before the first word is even spoken. Your degree of openness can be both conscious and unconscious, and it will most definitely make or break a connection. To be fully open, it is helpful to ground yourself in the dedication to be so. Levels of openness can be shut down in an instant due to the individual, the companion, the topic, the setting, the flow of exchange, etc. Learn how to observe the flow and make adjustments as necessary. When you, or another person, aren’t open, the gateway to connection is completely shut down.
3. Focus Your Energy
There is no beneficial communication taking place if one, or both, parties are somewhere else mentally or emotionally. Connection requires communication to be taking place on all levels, and even though the energetic component of relationships aren’t always overtly visible, it surges between people. Connection is a living process in its own right. When the fields of connection are in harmony, they work synergistically. When they are thrown out of whack, the shift to any polarity can change the entire mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual landscape of either party. Let go of everything else and focus on this time, with this person. If you aren’t in tune, opened up, and focused on embracing the company of another being in a loving space, how do you connect with intention?
Hook-Up To Your Flow
There is no hierarchy in connection. There is no room for power struggles when people are trying to genuinely connect. Everyone is equal. We don’t have to overpower, entertain, or match the thoughts or stories of those in front of us. All there is to do is open up enough to fully to take and let in someone else. Everyone gets a turn. All parties share equal space. In the process, a beautiful synergy emerges, and THAT is the connection. Before you socialize again, commit to trying these 3 tools for connection and see what unfolds. Find peace in your personal reflections and learn to Let Connection work for you.
Collaborative Attachement
Collaborative attachment is essential in building strong and healthy relationships. This means with oneself, family, and community. By fostering a sense of shared responsibility and interdependence, we promote greater empathy, trust, and understanding. In this, we are able to create supportive networks that help us navigate life’s challenges and celebrate its joys together.
“Each soul is potentially divine. The goal is to manifest this divinity by controlling nature, external and internal. Do this either by work, or worship, or psychic control, or philosophy – by one, or more, or all of these – and be free. This is the whole of religion. Doctrines, or dogmas, or rituals, or books, or temples, or forms, are but secondary details.”
– Swami Vivekananda