In order to start unwrapping the 9 paths of co-addiction, we need to get really clear on what we’re talking about. Co-addiction is a term used to describe the patterns of behavior, beliefs, and emotions that can arise in families and relationships with someone who has a substance abuse problem. Co-addiction can take on many forms, and can include codependency, enabling, obsessive preoccupation, denial, emotional turmoil, manipulation, excessive responsibility, compromise or loss of self, and blame and punishment.
Collusion
One of the major aspects of co-addiction is collusion. Collusion involves codependent and enabling relationships working together to hide the addiction and its negative effects from the outside world. For example, a spouse may help conceal their partner’s addiction by making excuses to friends and family, or even selling personal assets to cover the cost of addiction. In recovery, individuals learn how to “help” without enabling.
Obsessive Preoccupation
Another aspect of co-addiction is obsessive preoccupation. This occurs when loved ones become consumed with trying to save their struggling family member or friend. This preoccupation becomes increasingly damaging to both parties and can lead to anxiety, depression, and even increased substance use by family members. In recovery, individuals learn how to love without neglecting their own self-care.
Denial
Denial is another aspect of co-addiction. It can be hard for both the addict and their loved ones to admit that there is a problem. Denial is a wall that must be broken down for healing to occur. In recovery, individuals learn that living life on life’s terms requires consistent honesty and self-awareness.
Emotional Turmoil
Emotional turmoil is a state of chaos that can arise during active addiction. As feelings of shame, guilt, isolation, and despair grow, both addicts and their loved ones begin lashing out as a way of blowing off steam. In recovery, individuals learn how to move through emotions with healthy expression and progression.
Manipulation
Manipulation is a sneaky behavior that can emerge as relationships become unstable. Addicts frequently manipulate for time and financial resources to use, while family members leverage assets and emotions in a desperate attempt to stop the use. In recovery, individuals learn how to untangle the manipulative tactics that have crept into their thoughts and speech.
Excessive Responsibility
Excessive responsibility is another aspect of co-addiction. When someone in your life starts to struggle, it is common for someone else to step in to pick up the slack. However, it is long periods of excessive responsibility that lead to increased stress for the person towing the line and allow the other to escape accountability. In recovery, individuals learn about the boundaries and accountability that give life balance.
Loss of Self
Compromise or loss of self occurs when you lose yourself in someone else’s struggle. This is a common theme in codependency, and it is a problem that needs to be tackled in recovery. Individuals learn that unless they have an “I,” there can be no “us.”
Blame & Punishment
Finally, blame and punishment can become problematic in co-addiction. Blaming, shaming, and punishing only perpetuate the cycle of dysfunction. In recovery, individuals learn that healing requires forgiveness, empathy, and a willingness to move forward.
If you or someone you know is experiencing addiction or co-addiction, it’s important to know that recovery is possible. It may be a difficult journey, but it’s one that is worth taking. Remember that addiction is not a personal failure or a character flaw, but rather a disease that requires treatment and support.
It’s also important to remember that you are not alone. There are countless people who have gone through addiction and come out on the other side, living fulfilling and joyful lives. Surround yourself with supportive and understanding people, seek professional help, and don’t give up hope.
In active recovery, you have the opportunity to rediscover yourself and create a life that is meaningful and fulfilling. It won’t always be easy, but every day you choose to prioritize your recovery is a step towards a brighter future. Embrace the journey, celebrate your progress, and know that there is a community of people rooting for you every step of the way. No matter where you are on your migration, remember, RECOVERY ISN’T BORING. In fact, it’s pretty blessed.
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