To some degree, EVERYONE experiences FOMO & Imposter Syndrome at one point or another. Here’s the thing: If you’re content with your life, you are not missing out on anything. If you think that everyone else has it all figured out and you’re just a faker…join the club. No one has it all figured out. Your life is freakin’ incredible, and so are you. Even when it may not feel like it, you’re rocking this thing and you know everything that you need to know to be you, in your fantastic life, right now.
Before we begin, let’s look at a visual progression of what we’re about to discuss; conveniently summarized in memes:
Why Does The Brain Like to Be Negative?
First of all, it doesn’t. The brain is hardwired to help you survive, and it has no emotional attachment whatsoever to what you’re inputting into the system. The emotional response is a heavily conditioned process. In other words, you largely create and reinforce that…Sorry, not sorry. Awareness allows us to own what’s ours and change what we can. It sort of goes like this: Input – initial reaction – corresponding thoughts – subsequent actions & behaviors. The brain initially takes in input and reacts with a fight, flight, flee, or fawn impulse to keep you alive. Anything that doesn’t actually require those survival reactions can easily get sucked into a headspace vortex where it doesn’t belong. What can I say? Our basic operating system did not have adequate time to evolve into immediate, logical processors of worldwide Insta travel pics or everyone’s a mini-celebrity platform culture. IRL these distinctions can feel very stressful. Therefore, it is vital that we recognize not only what is happening and why but to also decide what we’re going to do with it that keeps our life experience in perspective.
FOMO
On a spectrum of fears, this one is a rather entertaining, if not full-out hilarious fear. Look, you don’t want to have any regrets, right? That’s fair enough. Instead of wasting even a second of this big beautiful life experience fearing that you might miss out; go out there and seek what moves you. Don’t start pining after things that you never wanted in the first place. Remember, we live in a hyper-connected world. Thus, if you let your mind run rampant, chances are, your wants and the wants of others get a little twisted up. Also, remember that what we see is not necessarily what it looks like. Don’t project. I promise you, everyone’s lives are not these flawless, unfiltered specimens of perfection. Most lives look more similar to yours than you think. Return to your values. Remember who you are. What do YOU want?
Imposter Syndrome
Talk with people long enough, and you will discover that everyone has an Imposter Syndrome experience. I think that we silently live with the idea that everyone else who’s doing anything, is owning it…and because we don’t feel that way, we use it as an excuse to beat ourselves up. When you catch yourself doing that…STOP. You’re enough. You’re doing enough and even when it doesn’t feel like it, that’s okay. Hell, if I’m being completely honest just being an adult is probably the most common source of imposter syndrome that I notice pop up in my life. And every time the thoughts arise, I imagine physically stepping out of my own way. Then, I make sure I’m moving on without the self-criticism in tow. After all, who really knows that it is “supposed” to feel like you’re a bonafide adult, parent, friend, etc.? Nobody, because they’re doing the same thing that you are; winging it and doing their best to move foward, all the while wondering if they’re supposed to feel differently about it. When we mix up emotions, expectations & experiences, it’s easy to throw ourselves off track. You’re worth letting all of that go. Quit judging your own experience. Instead, allow it to be what it is as you confidently savor each thing from your unique perspective.
Get Still & Chill
Our automatic assumptions about ourselves, the world, and the people around us often contribute to getting in our own way. In order to overcome our tendency to slide into FOMO & Imposter Syndrome, we need to not only get aware, but make an effort to stay there. Take it one thing at a time. Accept that sometimes, even when we’re aware that our self-talk isn’t abnormal or true, we still hiccup when it comes to letting it go. It’s all good.